Back and Ballsier Than Ever

Our beloved mystery closet job, Toothy Tile, is back, dancing the out-me dance yet again in Blind Vice Friday. Plus, accused Christian Bale says some pretty foreboding things. And how the hell is Lindsay Lohan losing it this time?

Dark Bite

Christian Bale has always been pretty much close to crackers, and I’ve known this fact for some time. But let’s back up: As ya’ll know, Dark Knight hasn’t been the only thing making headlines; the man behind the utterly doable Batsuit has been, too. And as I’m a mucho big fan of Bale, even when he is fully clothed, I went back into my archives to dig up an interview from 2006 with C.B. to see if it could possibly shed some light on what to make of this ugly family squabble, which I’m told by sources close to the infighting clan, has merits on both sides. Though the reportedly near-extorting mom and sis to C.B. ultimately love, I'd say.

Still, whether it’s dropping myriad pounds for flicks like The Machinist or Rescue Dawn, it’s pretty damn obvs Christian gets into his characters big-time. Could his demonic roles, like that of a man who attaches jumper cables to women’s breasts in American Psycho, indeed have started to intertwine with his personal life? When asking C.B. about how he prepares for certain roles, par-tick the badass ones, C told me: “It’s just allowing that person to sit in your head, and you come up with ideas over time.” Well, letting folks as loony as these twisted outsiders, Batman included, rent space inside your noggin can’t be healthy for anyone.

Interestingly, Bale blabbed to moi that his mom, the one who’s accusing Bale (along with one of his sisters) of assault, “was crying with laughter” when she watched American Psycho. Fascinating, eh? Also, I find it pretty suspicious that Mama Bale’s supposedly shopping around mag-rags for cash to talk about the recent “assault,” while her son’s shattering box-office records. If she’s truly concerned about getting her side across then she'd do it for free. Supposedly, Mama Bale is jealous, said my Bale hangers-on, of her son and her late husband, Christian’s father. In the interview, when I asked about heroes and major influences in his life, Christian made a point to directly talk about his dad, nada mamacita. He said, “My biggest influences would have to be my father and my family. We moved around an awful lot, so I found you had to form a tight unit or you'd be incredibly lonely.”

Other than guffawing, rather inappropriately, at Psycho, no other mention of mommy was ever made. Indeed, this notion of being “lonely” had a habit of resurfacing during our interview. When talking about being an actor he said, “It is nomadic, and you have to get accustomed to some sort of isolation, which is often important in preparing for a role. But I've always been a bit of a loner.” Don't forget, C.B was devastated over fellow loner and BFF Heath Ledger’s premature death, secluding himself for weeks after. Now that the movie is finally released, it’s like opening an old wound. Apparently, like Heath, Bale lost a lot of sleep during the filming of Dark Knight, which could also be responsible for his recent outbursts.